Background
Terrys working life first started with an apprenticeship in sheet metal fabrication and welding. He worked on parts for aircrafts until the apprenticeship ended and he began working in an industrial state also doing sheet fabrication for a while before leaving this job and working for an agency in sheet metal fabrication. At this time, Terry loved doing this job but struggled with the very low income which was causing an awful lot of stress.
Terry had and has always been a huge fan of music and he played the keyboard in a band and would continue trying to pursue this as the band would play gigs around Hampshire from 1995-1998 when unfortunately the band split.
Beginning of the struggles
Going back to the previous year in 1997, Terrys father passed away very suddenly, just after the birth of Terrys second born child. This became the start of the panic attacks and stress that was becoming difficult to cope with. Terry began working in sheet metal fabrication and welding again to provide and support his family while his mother was also struggling to come to terms with her husband passing. As the panic attacks continued and became more frequent, he had to quit his job and attempted to self-medicate by drinking when every other solution of the low income, stress and panic attacks felt impossible.
Terry got on with everyone and really enjoyed being sociable spending time with friends and family down the local pub and playing football on the weekends, so when he struggled to leave the house without having a drink he really couldn’t see a way to make things better. In 2008, Terry quit drinking and smoking because he knew neither were helping and they were just making things worse. Unfortunately, what followed this strength and bravery of making this decision with no professional support, was severe Agoraphobia and social Anxiety.
11 years unable to leave the house
Between 2008-2019, for 11 years, Terry was unable to leave his home. He could not open the door to the postman, he could not go into his back garden without feeling like the world was staring at him and when people would come to the house to do gas checks for example, he would stay in his bedroom consumed by anxiety of possibly having to speak to a stranger. Terry was not able to go to a doctor for support due to not being able to leave the house and speaking on the phone also felt impossible to be able to do.
Wanting to make a change
In 2019, Terrys eldest daughter would get the bus just outside the back garden to work. So Terry would stand outside of the back garden and wave her off as she caught the bus. In time, Terry would begin short walks and pushed himself to start walking his youngest daughter to work and back. Although he had so much anxiety and felt as if everyone in the world, every car, every window was watching him, he pushed himself through this having to also cope with losing his mother and sister within a year of each other. He began cycling again which improved his physical health and also gave him an escape when social situations began to feel uncomfortable. Terrys confidence started to improve and in 2021 he wanted to try and get back into work. He knew he wouldn’t cope with just going straight into employment and he needed support so he started having phone calls with the job centre and joined a programme supporting people with struggles getting back into work.
GVA – Now Community First
Volunteering was suggested to Terry to ease him back into work life. And in September 2022, alongside his eldest son who also struggles with social anxiety, he began a 6 week course on how to volunteer and was then signposted to GVA.
Along with his eldest son, he would start going down to the allotment which is run by community spirit the volunteering programme within GVA (now community first). Terry would assist at events at the hope hub such as Christmas events where he would meet and greet the public and direct them where they needed to go. He would volunteer with the hope hub completing all sorts of tasks like organising donations, and a fair few removals tasks too. Terrys confidence absolutely soared and encouraged himself more and more every day continuing to volunteer with community spirit.
Since last year (2024) Terrys eldest son has started dog walking and is often unable to volunteer which Terry found difficult. It knocked his confidence and he would find himself stood with his shoes and coat on at the back door ready to leave for volunteering but physically could not move. Terry has received an incredible amount of support from community spirit and this has enabled him to keep going. Now since the start of this year, Terry has been able to go out and volunteer on his own, he enjoys helping others and will help out wherever he can. He will spend the day doing gardening work and will go home exhausted but proud of how far he has come and community spirit has been essential to his growth.
Terrys eldest daughter Sophie –
“When dad first started leaving the house, I was terrified. I’ve always been very close with my dad so the thought of him starting to go out after 11 years was scary. What if he struggled? What if the world isn’t kind to him?. Community spirit has supported dad so much and eased him into experiencing that work life again without being thrown into a situation that would have been impossible to cope with. Dads confidence has grown so much and I’m so incredibly proud of how far he has come. Dad goes out to volunteering and does a days work, whether he gets paid or not, and he goes home and tells us all about his day and just how hard he’s worked. My dad is my inspiration, and I hope he sees every day just how incredible he is”.